At any rate, your search has brought you here. So let me tell you: But with the following guide, you should come as close as possible, all things being equal. You can find a lot of advice on this subject, and probably you have already read a good part of it, seeing as it can get a bit repetitive. And of course there is a reason for that. People love talking about themselves, and referencing something they wrote about themselves is sure to get their attention and show them that they have yours.
That is so cool! When adhering strictly to this MO, you also run the danger of starting an interview instead of a conversation.
A common complaint among disappointed users. Another disadvantage, apart from not exactly sticking out from the crowd is how time intensive it can be to find something to reference. And what if their bio is empty, and there is nothing outlandishly interesting going on in their pictures? Or give up preventively and move on without messaging?
If all else fails, try to be good looking. Certainly not bad advice and useful to remember in all walks of life. Even in terms of generalized online dating messaging advice I prefer it to the above.
And charm can only take you so far without sincerity. Trying to be good looking, however, seems wise and can only help — in most situations. Remembering where your strengths lie, and not jumping on every fad just because others are seeing great success with a particularly clever opening seems prudent, however. Even if it may feel harder to get anywhere. Unless you are a true virtuoso in the art of puns, and manage to strike a nerve and elicit a positive response with some reliability, I would recommend leaving the puns to just such masters.
Okay, more than once. And I tried all the advice I read. Apart from their face, that is. Looking back, it seems obvious that such matches and dates were doomed to fail. I tried to figure out who I was, so that I could be myself. When what I should have been doing was just writing whatever came to mind. The horses would be too cuuuute! So, what has worked for me? On the one hand, a combination of the above. Pointing out, or asking about an actual common interest I saw in their profile, but usually not as a first message.
Making a in my humble opinion hilarious observation about something going on in their pictures. Neither spend a lot of time and energy on racking your brain trying to come up with a conversation starter, nor let an opportunity go to waste. No matter what their profile might say.
Or fail to say. Instead, come up with a canned opener to use in such situations. Start with a greeting, addressing them by name.
Follow up with something cute, witty, charming, or funny, but stay unspecific. Ask about their day, how they are, etc. What has worked very well for me: Why does such a lazy, neutral, boring message work? What can I say, I tried something, and I was very pleasantly surprised with the results.
But it does make some sense if you think about it. Which in turn also makes for an easy point to pick up a detail and continue the conversation.
Last but not least: An added benefit is that you can be pretty sure the other person is actually interested in you, if they reply to something like this.
Which may explain why I had unusually good conversations following this canned opener, from those matches that did reply. If you have misgivings about copy paste messages, either sending or receiving, I understand completely. Okay, but where do we go from here? What about the rest of the conversation? That, leading up to asking for a date may be a future SwipeHelper guide.
At least they did up until that point. And not to forget: Meanwhile, what do you think? Would you like to add something? Feel free to leave a comment below, or visit the SwipeHelper Subreddit. And stories maybe yours?