Dating advice After losing someone you love, the idea of dating again can be almost unthinkable. Some people decide to never be in a relationship again, and many see that through.
Others jump straight back into it, attempting to quickly remedy their feelings or find a replacement for their lost loved one. Understandably there is a natural desire to overcome loneliness, which, depending on the situation, can be completely unexpected. It is also common to think you are betraying your ex by dating anew. But everyone deserves to be happy, and if that means finding romance again , that should be embraced.
There is no set time frame on when to be ready to start dating again. We all process grief in different ways. Only you can decide when is the right time, and testing the water could be the only way of finding out. Those ready to find love again have a number of websites and apps at hand Credit: Meanwhile, broader popular dating sites such as eHarmony also cater to those who are ready to find love again.
We caught up with Abel Keogh, author of Dating a Widower , to seek advice for those returning to the dating world and to hear about his own personal experiences as a widow. Why did you start writing about dating for widowers? What I was writing about apparently resonated with readers because I started getting emails from women who were searching for advice about the widowers they were dating.
I put my personal experience and recurring issues I saw in the emails into my first book, Dating a Widower. When I first started dating I was looking for someone who was similar to my late wife both in looks and interests. Once I did, the dates went better and it was easier to open my heart to those who were very different. They view the loss of their spouse as a problem that needs to be fixed and see dating and relationships as the best way to mend their broken hearts.
Most get their lives and hearts in order before testing the dating waters. They tend to experience similar issues and emotions and make the same mistakes.
I was widowed in my 20s and I see widowers in their 30s, 40s, 50s and older making the same mistakes I did. That is, we just start dating because we want companionship, not a relationship. I went on my first date about four months after my late wife died. We went out to lunch and the entire time I felt like I was cheating on her. Those thoughts and feelings were less on the second date and almost gone by the third time I went out.
After a couple of months of dating they went away entirely. People will grieve as long as they want to or have a reason to. Most stop once they have a reason to stop. For others they want to experience life again and realise that grief is holding them back from doing that. I enjoyed my first marriage and wanted something just as wonderful again.