I had noticed that I didn't trust my instincts anymore about identifying a good man and how to build a healthy relationship. It's hard to understand or even explain why one is attracted to the "bad guy" especially if it's not that obvious in the beginning, and then, how I got so deep into this wrong relationship to the point that I didn't even notice how I was being manipula I ordered the "Tao of Dating" while still recovering from an abusive relationship which took me almost 3 years to get over.
It's hard to understand or even explain why one is attracted to the "bad guy" especially if it's not that obvious in the beginning, and then, how I got so deep into this wrong relationship to the point that I didn't even notice how I was being manipulated and unable to leave. After leaving, I was so afraid, I came to the point that I gave up on even trying to date or look for a partner at 38 y. However, after reading the reviews on Amazon, I decided to give this book a try.
It has helped me a lot. I read it through and then, read it again, started doing the little exercises and incorporating the ideas into my daily life.
I truly can say, it has changed me. It has changed my perspective on and expectations of relationships in general. I got a clear picture of what type of relationship would bring me fulfillment and what type of person I should be looking for. The guidance is comprehensive and the concepts are clear. Shortly after reading this book, I started dating my first "good guy". The relationship wasn't successful, but there was no sense of loss or regret.
Overall, it was a great experience and we both gave our best, even though it wasn't fulfilling enough for either of us. This experience was a real good one and helped me further shape my idea of a great relationship and a good partner for me. I was not in a rush, I was not afraid, I was totally confident that my soul mate would show up when the time was right for me. Indeed, a few months later, I met my soul mate. He was everything what I had dreamed of, and even more.
We moved in together and live a loving fulfilling relationship. Until this day nearly 2 years after reading the book! You changed my life. Rated the best selling dating book. Much of the content is digested and regurgitated how to love yourself theories. Whilst I definitely think this is true the book didn't really tell me anything that I hadn't already read from other such books. I soon discovered the reason for the positive reviews from Amazon. The author offers each reviewer that leaves a review on Amazon a 15 minute coaching slot.
So who would want to leave a ba I purchased this book after reading many amazing views from Amazon. So who would want to leave a bad review knowing that you can obtain a coaching session for nothing.
I wouldn't rush to recommend this book. But a friend of mine got a kick out of and forwarded me one of Dr. Ali's Huffington Post articles on dating for people that are too smart for their own good.
And I was so impressed with his perspective and tell-it-like-it-is approach e. The overall message is a good one, and the Taoist philosophy really works well here. Finding someone and loving someone should not be a drag or a chore. Trying to force something to work for the sake of it is not likely to go well. And everyone already has everything they need to accomplish that.
As with any self-help, advice-type book, there are going to be parts that resonate and parts that don't, and this one is no exception. There were parts I loved and others that annoyed me so much I actually blacked them out.
I would recommend taking some of the science parts with a grain of salt - at some points Dr. Ali is good at admitting he's taking complex, multi-faceted, on-going research and distilling it into a sound bite but he's not consistent. Particularly with the gender differences and some of the belief stuff earlier on in the book.
And some of the "science" is a bit of a stretch or just plain bad. Case in point, in one exercise you're asked to twist around as far as you can, then IMAGINE yourself being able to twist your torso around and around again, and then repeat, seeing if you can actually twist further the second time.
Is it the power of visualization, as Dr. Ali and his "science" suggests, or more that you limbered yourself up by twisting the first time? Ali's description of Taoist philosophy, that is, it was way oversimplified and cursory. But given Taoism, that either wouldn't make much sense or would be a compliment. So, instead, I'll say that if the Taoist perspective appealed to you I'd recommend searching out Taoist texts and sitting with them.