Making that decision often involves canceling out a lot of unhelpful noise whether it's from your peers or from your date , not to mention worrying about scary stuff like STDs and the possibility of getting pregnant.
Oh, and don't forget to factor in your personal desires. After those fateful right swipes, many women don't meet their match in person until the first date itself, which only amplifies those aforementioned fears and unhelpful commentary. Of course, there's no "right" answer here -- our feeling is essentially, "you do you! So, we asked them. Here's how 14 of them felt: The first date is not enough time to talk about any past sexual history that may have resulted in diseases, diseases that I might be able to catch.
Also, I wouldn't trust someone to put my best interests in mind -- like preventing pregnancy and using proper protection -- after knowing them for that short a period of time. I hate that we've been socialized to withhold sex from men and use it as a dangling carrot. Treating sex like a prize or an arbitrary milestone teaches us to suppress our sexual desires for the sake of gender and social norms.
The only question you should ask yourself when deciding if you want to have sex should be 'Do I want to have sex? No, if he is a keeper. My fiance and I meet through work and flirted for two months before going out for the first time.
Chances are, if I wasn't feeling a mental connection, we weren't going on a second date or having sex anyway, and I probably already faked an emergency to get out of dodge.
If I think we are on a similar mental level, let's have sex before we get any further. For example, let's say that the date is with a person you've known for years and they asked you to dinner. Dinner went extremely well.
You get back to your home and invite him in. That's not too early, because you've done all the getting-to-know-you part years in advance. Now the only question is: Are we sexually compatible? I would say sex on the first date depends on a lot of factors. Trying to form that bond after spending a few hours with someone is impossible. It takes months, maybe even years, to build that closeness with someone.
You open yourself up at the inner level of your true being [when you have sex] -- that's a very big step to take with someone. I'm no longer with either of these people. I firmly believe that, as long as you practice safe sex, an individual should feel free to have sex with whomever they choose on whatever 'date' number it is.
I love sex, and if the sex isn't good, it wouldn't have been worth continuing the relationship. However, it's been three years since I have had sex, and last year, all the STD tests came back clean. I decided that, if I ever have sex again, whoever it is with will need to submit to STD and HIV testing prior to us having sex -- and the results need to be spotless.
It's probably because I am older now, but I've taken too many risks in the past, and I now realize people need to earn the privilege of having sex with me. Growing up, mistakes are made, and sometimes you've got to try something for yourself to see you actually don't like it. I had meaningless sex, and as a woman, I think it gives you very little pleasure compared to having sex with someone you have feelings for.
I think putting a number on the dates-to-sex ratio can be stifling. We could all benefit from trusting our instincts and ourselves a little more. I don't judge someone for getting their freak on, and I wouldn't date a man long if he judged me for my healthy sexual appetite and attitude.
I had an experience where I had been dating a guy for a few months before the first time, then we did it and it was bad. Easily the worst sex of my life. If we had done it earlier, I would have saved myself some time and energy. I think in , if you're on a date and there's chemistry and you're both consenting adults, have at it. If I like the person, why not enjoy everything I can? There's no "right" or "wrong" thing to do -- sex on the first date is really a different-strokes-for-different-folks kind of thing.