When we talk about subtle red flags in a relationship there are two kinds: Is your date showing either? Look, everybody has issues. So when it comes down to red flags there are two categories. The first category is the danger zone category: Are you dealing with a person who is dangerous to themselves or others, or just too selfish to really consider you?
The second category is the incompatibility zone: Does the person of your inquiry seek conflict or are they self- aware and seek harmony? Making changes within yourself takes an enormous amount of work, time, and energy. Some ways of coping are negotiable and others are flat out deal breakers. If you or your date have been abused, betrayed, or unloved in any way, it can make a new love difficult but with the right support you can negotiate your way through.
The alternative to change is to accept people as you are receiving them in the moment. To be able to just accept someone as they are?
To do this, you must be willing to recognize the subtle communications we all make as we meet and begin to get acquainted. Danger Zone flags in this context are or have the potential to be literally life threatening.
Incompatibility flags are the anti- namaste experience. Danger Zone Flags In the beginning of a relationship, people will always tell you who they are.
Either directly or indirectly, remember that. It is imperative that you at the very least listen to your gut instinct that gives you good or bad feelings when there is the necessity to pay attention to what someone is saying or doing; and at most, listen to the intuitive voice that will speak to you the very information you need. These are the things to look out for in the danger zone. Someone who has opinions about you or your behavior as early as the first date, or who needs to know what you are doing and who you are doing it with within the first month.
Sexual coercion and intimate partner abuse are more common every day. A lover who wants to get pregnant or who wants to get you pregnant immediately, is a sign of control that can easily be misconstrued as love. A person who starts out a conversation with: Obvious Anger Management Troubles: People who cheat on their lovers do it because of their own fears and insecurities in a relationship. If they are unable to talk about sexual or intimate emotional needs, it may be easier for them to cheat then to speak to you about what they want.
The biggest red flag in this arena is someone who will justify their cheating or blame it on their previous partner. Of course, opposites attract but can they stay together? Here are a few things to look out for.
People Who Seek Conflict: A person who seeks conflict oftentimes sees the world through a personal lens. Inviting this person into your life holds a pre-requisite of extraordinary communication and boundary skills. Communications and needed to take this course. People Who Lack Self-Awareness: Folks who are unaware of their deeper feelings or what drives their behavior often times create conflict as a spiritual way to understand themselves.
Not that they deliberately seek it, but that it is in fact the outcome of the lack of self-awareness. This person is actually in the best place to have a breakthrough if they stay engaged in the process of understanding.
Honesty would be recommended as a pre-requisite. A Person Who Focuses on Money: On the other hand, a person who is stingy or withholds money most likely has been taken advantage of in some way and is looking for safety through the control of their finances.
We are all human and imperfection is our specialty. It is possible to mold harmony out of conflict, raise fear into joy, and transform confusion into clear cut boundaries and communication if you are willing. Letting others be exactly who they are is a sign that you accept, love, and embrace yourself.
Put that on the flag you carry and go out and have some fun!