Favourite Share My online dating experiment A few months ago, we asked Carrie Lloyd to delve into the world of online dating. She reveals what it takes for a single Christian woman to hook up via cyberspace. I could manage the vertically challenged thing, but there was no spark.
I might ask her for the number of her colourist though. This has been my life for the past two months. A dedication to online dating, just for you; for this article. Twenty years on from the launch of the first online dating site, Match.
Much of the original stigma seems to be slipping away, and according to the Online Dating Association, online dating is now the most common way in which relationships in the UK get started. Taking the plunge So, at 35, and still yet to find the right man to marry, would the online dating world be full of desperate souls seeking marriage so their lives could begin? I also roped in two girlfriends based in London, who are also single, and in their 30s. They agreed to take on the world of online dating from home in the UK.
I procrastinated starting out on my assignment for a week as I battled with the ego and the fear of looking desperate. Questions, questions, questions Enter online dating: Aware that eHarmony — the dating site known as most successful for marriages — has a minute questionnaire, I started here. After the painstaking process of answering questions, I finally began to get matched.
I had selected men in the age range 28—41, and was paired with quite a few. But I was slightly disappointed with the options I was being given: And too many had clearly not left the house for a while. But was I being too picky? Anti-ageing Over in London, it seemed my girls were having similar problems. The three of us had never had an issue with our age, until men on these sites started to highlight it — be it in messages, in conversation, or in their lock-down filters for girls under This process has made me aware that women are often more accepting of age than men are.
This was confirmed by a survey conducted by OKCupid, which suggested that on average, men aged 20—50 prefer to date a girl in her early 20s. But this only happened because I extended the distance range to the whole of the US. Trust me, I was trying hard to not be choosy.
With the men I did take a shine to, it felt like we had to take exams before we could actually obtain contact. By the fourth step in the process, I was halfway through the first month of my subscription.
We hoped no one would hear our harsh honesty. The danger of the ideal I generally assumed that men would be fearless when it comes to finding an online mate, but it seems that as they are encouraged to dream up the ideal woman, most of us are sidelined from being a serious option. These came to tepid endings, however; the sparks were missing. It was at least a relief to know that all these profiles do have actual people behind them.
The three of us discovered that Hinge, Happn and Tinder were now where everyone serious about this stuff seems to roam. These apps are more entertaining and verge on handheld game territory, so the stigma of appearing needy or desperate is gone.
What does instantly appear, however, are a lot of torsos and, should you not be careful, adult content. Hinge has the added bonus of allowing you to see friends you have in common a safer option and Happn introduces you to people who are literally walking past you.
Reasons for being distracted from worship or the sermon aside, she did have a point. Despite his beautiful eyes, I declined him.
I then stumbled across a delightful I mean gorgeous man. In his profile shot, he had a stethoscope around his neck. A man with a career! After we had exchanged a few messages, he wanted to meet I would strongly advise meeting early on to avoid the imagination exceeding reality.
I ensured that church was mentioned within 15 minutes of conversing online; my own profile already declared I was a Christian. On asking him if he could write, and therefore help me meet some article deadlines, he responded: Revelation Towards the end of my online dating trial I had some revelation. Neither I nor my two friends had found love. But strangely, I found myself feeling more open to that little thing that I had lost time for due to so much online activity — real life.
Appearing in human form for social events, community projects or blind dates suggested by friends made more sense — it was more productive and less isolating. And funnily enough, over those two months, male friends became more intriguing.
One had known for three years had slowly begun to grow an interest in me. I even dated him a few times, having never before considered romance could be there. Had I gained a new sense of self-awareness? I had become more open-minded to people in my everyday. My Brit friends in London also seemed to exude a new sense of confidence, more faith in God, even. We may not have reached the destination of marriage through a screen, but this has poised the heart to be more hopeful, brushed off pride or fear in dating, and left us enjoying a journey of unexpected interactions.
In short, online dating may not bring the spouse you were after — but it might introduce you to yourself on a whole new level. We spliced the knot just a few days ago. So Internet dating does work! God rewards persistence and faithfulness. Your turn will come if you keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. By coincidence we have both been divorced for 15 years and have a lot in common. We are dating, praying and planning a future together.
I believe I have found my soul mate. Large number of people registered, easy to use. Largest dating site, allows access to the full database. Too many options; no Christian or like-minded filter.
Cheaper than the above sites. Did I mention I was matched with a girl? Bible studies option available but you may not consider this a high… Low: Too many options offered. Less cheesy prayer forums; more creative types on here. Has too many frills do we need to state desirable eye colour? Cheaper than eHarmony; it has the potential to be just as good.
As yet, too few users. Filters for Christian denominations. It is one of the most popular sites used by Christians and therefore has good user numbers. You can find out more at Her Glass Slipper.