We discuss the ins and outs of Paul's efficient system for meeting and dating women including where to meet them, where to live and the art of discipline and productivity. Paul has a unique mindset when it comes to dating that may be beneficial to a lot of men who want to learn faster. At Dating Skills Review we're all about helping you to learn faster so this was a great interview to kick the podcast off with. Enjoy and let me know what your thoughts on the productive approach to dating in the comments!
Paul Janka's background and dating lifestyle and how this changed over the last decade. The step by step process he uses to meet and sleep with women what he calls an 'industrial' approach. The importance of 'Mojo'. What it is, how it helps you get women and how to get it. An example of the worst situation he ever got into with a woman. His score - how many women he's slept with - and what a 'real players' score can be and the sacrifices he has to make to get it.
How he approaches women on the street and what he says. Some hindsight perspective on his life as possibly the greatest 'Casanova' of New York City. He's actually got a lot of attention since around , been on a lot of shows. He's got a big reputation for himself. So, really happy to have you. Alright, so we want to start off with something really to set the frame here of who Paul Janka is, so what is your score, man?
There's a little bit of an issue. I used to keep a spreadsheet. I was about And so I noted a list down on paper. And I put it on a scrap of paper and then I transferred it to an Excel document in , and then I just kept it. And I updated it all the way until I started dating my current girlfriend. And we got quite serious, and we had a period where we were not exclusive, but I stopped the spreadsheet there. Okay, no evidence… [Paul Janka]: You know Jeremy Soul from Love Systems?
I know Love Systems, yeah. So what I think would be good is to talk a bit about like where do you meet women, like how does it go, like from basically start to finish…? So really there's maybe a third or fewer percent left of straight single men and you have a huge influx of women. I mean, yes, you can meet them in bars and you can do online, but my thing was just pick them off the street. That's kind of how it happened.
I might get 10 or 15 numbers a day. And when I coach I sometimes get 25 or 30 numbers or 40 or so numbers a day. Not just one girl, there's probably five. And then in my heyday I used to stack them like 7 p. The first would show—girls flake, but let's assume that it was solid. So if you live in a target-rich environment like New York… [Angel Donovan]: Big, and there has to be walking.
LA I think would be not good… [Angel Donovan]: So New York is really, really yes… [Angel Donovan]: Like you need high traffic. Public transportation helps because you can meet on the train or whatever, yeah. And there are variations, in coffee shops and museums, whatever. I mean, 10 years ago this was a different deal. You had to like call answering machines and stuff. And I never, almost never ever speak with a girl. Or would you think and…?
Basically, the best pickups are the ones that are obviously most natural-feeling, right? And the more specific—and it also depends on how inspired I am at the moment… [Angel Donovan]: So looks, of course, play a part in this. What do you think? So in all of that like interaction and conversation, how long is this, like five minutes?
Things happen so fast. Like you want to take a chance? So if you can strike any kind of spark with her at all and you can sell kind of, well, confidently, girls often will take the chance. Yeah, this stuff…it works after a while. And I wanted to come back to something I read in your book, Attraction Formula, or you were going to call that… [Paul Janka]: Janka Method, that's fine, yeah. Anyway, you talk a lot about mojo and you just referred to it with several other things.
Yeah, I talk about that. In your book you call that mojo and you go into a bit more detail about that. Could you talk a bit more about, what difference does it make? First of all, what is it, and then what difference does it make to the pickup, like how much of a difference? So one way to get rid of, to dissipate all this, especially negative energy, is, first of all, it helps to be outdoors walking, because you get in a high-stimuli environment.
So being outside is good. And then, I can be a pretty intense guy, so I just…like part of it is just going through the motions. Like I could talk to a few girls and be not that…be kind of flat. She has my undivided attention. And it only has to last for a minute to get the number, but it cuts through all the other fog that she has during the day. And also, it brings all my resources to bear, like all my humor, my sense of irony, my creativity. Yeah, I feel very in command of the social scene.
I can even bring other people in. And there was one thing I wanted to say about that. And, I mean, one way to get there is to just go out and practice and practice. So I tell a lot of guys, take improv classes, here in New York even. You have to be on. He's not thinking about his mom or the rent or whatever. Yeah, that's I what I do do. Yeah, without that sense of presence and that mojo—because basically women want to connect, and that energy gets people to connect.
I think also too, like anything, this just takes practice. You could take any guy and if you force him to like approach girls, he's going to get better. I mean, I could take anyone, no matter how bad they are, and improve their skill just by forcing them to have these interactions.
So you get 20 numbers in a day, like how do you manage to do that? Can you give me an idea? I was a tutor, so I work nights. I have my days free. A big part of this is the anonymity. Girls can have like kind of many lives here without all of their friends knowing or some friends knowing some and other friends not knowing all of it. Do what you want, who gives a shit? So live in a big city where there's anonymity, and then with regard to work… [Paul Janka]: Yeah, I mean even if you work full-time in a city like New York, you can still get it done.
I walked a lot in Manhattan and I had the balls and I knew what I was doing to pick up chicks. So, basically, if you pick up 20 girls a day consistently, there's just a lot of numbers so I can… And then at each step, we can talk about all the phases, but like I perfected the model so that I lost as few as I could along the way.
Just get a girlfriend. Is that really going to get in the way? One is it gave my life some meaning, right? It was the thrill. It was the hunt. And I had the time. You can go to like charity events or parties and stuff.