So I always put that I was "a few extra pounds" in the "body type" section. An understatement at the time, maybe, but online personal ads are like property ads, everyone knows what "renovator's dream", "charming" or "quaint" really mean.
I was just an insecure girl standing in front of a surprisingly hot guy, asking him to like me, so even though I knew I was out of my league and he was a tonsil, when he ended it I did that thing where you embarrassingly try to argue the person out of it, instead of exiting gracefully. Which was ridiculous, because in the whole of history, nobody has ever successfully argued someone into getting back together with them.
It was while I was asking him why, and what happened, and how come, that he told me I was fat. Like it was some kind of revelation.
He wasn't wrong, and for a change he wasn't lying, he was just mean and tactless and weirdly only waking up to the fact three months later. Weight isn't a personality flaw that slowly reveals itself after time, like racism or loud chewing I've never figured out why he carried on seeing me for that long if my size bothered him. It's not like he was blind the first time we met.
It's wanking that makes you blind, not being a wanker. And weight isn't a personality flaw that slowly reveals itself after time, like racism or loud chewing. Why select a croissant, take it home and eat a large portion of it, and then take it back to the shop dissatisfied, because you really wanted a bread stick?
Online dating was a minefield for the traditionally built. You could lie outright, or smudge the truth a bit, to give someone the chance to get to know you first, and decide for themselves whether they're OK with a little extra padding.
Or you could go in headfirst and write "Attention all shoppers, I am overweight" in the first line of your profile. But that seems a bad way to start a potential relationship. Every day I try to like my body, and I'd like to find somebody else who does too.
WooPlus is a British online dating site that specialises in big beautiful women, and big handsome men, and their admirers. I get what they're doing, but I can't bring myself to believe dating apps like this are the solution. I feel like I'd just be someone's fetish, or marginalised, and that's not what I'm looking for either. Fortunately, fast forward a few years and something remarkable is happening. In the latest season of Project Runway a US reality show about fashion design , for the first time in the show's history, the designers are working with body-positive models of all sizes.
It's only taken them 13 years, 16 seasons and episodes to get there. Mainstream fashion houses locally and internationally are also starting to openly design for real women of all ages and sizes, and even better, use them in their brochures and ad campaigns. And something utterly mad is happening, I'm starting to think that they're beautiful, and I hope I'm not the only one.