Originally Posted by Heave Hi Guys, Just want to ask if anyone of you has been through a similar incident and how you coped with it? I need some advice here. I was in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years before this, and were pretty much your average couple. She's 25 and I'm 27 and we're both working. I wouldn't claim to have a perfect relationship and we did have our disagreements and fights from time to time. However, we always made it work up till now and I feel that we did have something special with each other.
Recently we had a big disagreement regarding the direction of our relationship and eventually decided to take a break to figure things out. We agreed that it wouldn't be permanent and we would meet again to talk about this in about weeks. It's been a week since the break up by the way. She's someone I love very much and I do want to settle down with her.
Over the recent weekend, I found out that she started dating someone else from a friend of mine who was equally as shocked as me.
Now, I know she's probably in a rebound relationship right now but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt to find out and I don't know what I should be doing right now. Should I talk to her about it? I'm not entirely ready to move on yet since this was supposed to be a temporary break, so I'd like some feedback on whether you guys have been through something similar before and how you handled it?
So I'm going to lay this out for you in some cold hard facts but end it with some "here's how to get better". If she told you its temporary it's cause she wants to keep you on a string, she likes you, thinks your wonderful, but wonders "can I do better? This guy was lined up. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's very likely. It doesnt make you a better or worse person than a month ago, it's just how messed up we are as people.
Don't talk to her about it, she doesn't care right now, at least not in the way you want her to, right now you are like a puppy or a kitty, she doesnt want to see you hurt, but she isn't going to run back into a relationship cause you're all teary-eyed right now. But it's not, there is a saying, "if you want to get over someone, get under someone else.
Ok, now on to what to do. This is the basic advice you give to anyone after a break. Cut contact, if she's on facebook, drop her, block her, delete facebook, whatever just dont talk to her. If you HAVE to talk to her, make it professional like a work meeting. Get off social media for awhile. No twitter, no facebook, no nothing, especially if you're friends, you're going to see pictures of her happy and moving on, that will totally mess with your head, just step away from it. Pick up a hobby.
Read some books you havent had a chance to read, learn to paint, take up clay sculptures, doesnt matter, pick up a hobby that interests you and do it. Hiking, biking, competitive running, writing, whatever it is, something to fill your time. Go to the gym. This is kind of important, and if you already do, go a bit more for awhile. Accomplishments boosts your self esteem. You're probably feeling down on yourself and it's silly, cause you're the same awesome guy you were 2 weeks ago.
So do something, accomplish something. If you do lift, try and lift a bit more, hit a new best. If you dont lift, start lifting. If you dont gym at all, start going, lift a bit, do some cardio, set a goal and hit it, make a new goal, hit that, do it over and over again, just keep hitting those goals. And that's it, keep busy, avoid contact, better yourself, focus on you and the rest of the stuff will work out on its own.
Chin up, it gets better, you'll get better, and you deserve better.