Losing every ounce of our grace and dignity at the mere thought of our former lover with someone else. So, how the hell are we expected to behave when we feel like our heart is breaking for the second time? How are we meant to channel all the anger and humiliation we feel? Below is a list of 5 things I committed to NOT doing after I found out my ex was in a new relationship.
Whilst I totally get why they did it and have also been guilty of doing the same thing in the past , this sort of behaviour never has a happy ending. Because… What do you actually hope to gain from it? Contacting them will only make you feel even worse trust me on this , and your focus right now needs to be solely directed to nurturing and healing yourself — not aggravating the wound. Again, this is understandable because of the huge sense of betrayal we feel at how quickly our ex appears to have moved on from us.
It will lower your self-esteem significantly and tempt you to go down the god-awful compare and despair rabbit-hole within a matter of clicks. I think the reason we all fall in to this trap is that it gives us a weird sense of power to know exactly who this new person is, and how you match up in comparison.
But this I can guarantee: Remove the temptation to stalk by blocking both of them as soon as possible. And when one member of the former duo gets in to a relationship with someone new, this only makes is all the more uncomfortable.
I would suggest you give yourself a bit of space from your mutual friends — just for the time being, so that you can process all of this stuff without involving anyone too heavily linked to your ex. At times like these, it really does pay off to keep things as simple and clean as possible. So, bumping in to an ex with or without his new girlfriend was always going to involve drama in one way or another.
Whether that was crying in a corner all night, flirting with other boys right in front of them or making a dramatic exit, subtlety was not my forte. People will always tend to remember the person who acts immaturely, not the reason for them to do so. Firstly, do all you can to avoid going to places your ex and his new partner are likely to be — at least for a good months, or until you genuinely feel ok about it all. Perhaps meditate beforehand, and visualize yourself seeing them together and being ok with it.
Go in there with your head held high. Then get the hell out of there having something nice planned for after always helps. Look, we all know that seeing the person you once loved with someone new is pretty devastating. It makes us question whether what we had together was even real, and it can even make us feel totally despondent about ever finding love and happiness in a relationship again.
Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start over. He was no longer in my life anyway, so what difference did it really make whether he was single or not? The ONLY thing that matters now is that you devote all your time and energy in to becoming the happiest, healthiest version of you, not into obsessing over your ex. Have you ever had the misfortune of seeing your ex move on with someone else before you were over them?
How did you handle it — and what would you perhaps do differently now? Look forward to catching you in the comments, Persia xxx.