Wikimedia Commons Hopefully, your answer to the question in the title of this post is an unhesitant: A wheelchair makes no difference to me. What matters to me is who is sitting in it.
The question here is directed at non-wheelchair users which include myself. If you were single and went to a party that was "happening," and you spotted an attractive girl in a wheelchair or guy in a wheelchair , would you consider chatting her up? The most realistic answer to these questions is that even if the hottest girl at the party were the girl in the wheel chair, you would check out the second-hottest girl. But people have walked on fire to get a girl or guy they were attracted to.
History has too many examples of this to pick one that is adequate. Why is a wheelchair a hindrance? Is it because you are only focused on what your relationship looks like to other people? Is it because you think wheelchair users cannot have sex? If it's the latter, you are wrong. Wheelchair users have sex. Even if they cannot move their lower body, they can have erect penises and sensitive clitorises. Different muscles and nerve endings are affected by different types of accidents.
But maybe your worry is not the sex but what your friends and family would think and say. They should not be concerned about your love life, but if they are, here is a good comeback if you do decide to go against the norm: If I had been in an accident and were in a wheelchair, I suppose you would find it inappropriate for me to find love?
You would scare off potential abled suitors, yelling: Her lower body is paralyzed. She is in a wheelchair. If you are a caring parent, you would never think that way about your own child.
But now the roles are reversed. Your little kid who is now approaching adulthood is not disabled, yet let's imagine she is dating a disabled guy in a wheelchair. You may be one of those politically correct parents who is not expressing any concerns about your child's new relationship openly. But if you are like most people, there is a part of you that doesn't like it. Why should she have to date a disabled guy in a wheelchair? Our family and friends are not our romantic partners.
They may once in a while have good advice on love and relationships. But they are narrow-minded. Relationships are hard work. In the long run, it doesn't matter what your physical appearance is like. What matters are your personality and character.
Oxford University Press, used with permission.