Alas, women rank slightly less! Online dating sites have created a wily playground for scammers, romance artists and married men and women who secretly cheat on their spouses. Married men create phony profiles and present themselves as single men looking for love, commitment and marriage. They conceal their true identity with a secret email address, a secondary cell phone, and if necessary a post office box.
I dated a lot on Match. I dealt with tire-kickers, trailer dwellers and man-skanks. My most memorable correspondence came from an online man whose profile name was TeeUp4Us. He emailed me telling me he had a successful career on Wall Street a sweetener , he was divorced and he was in the process of moving to Middle Tennessee where I lived.
I am his wife in Pennsylvania. He is not moving to Tennessee. He just goes there during the week to work. We have been married for 3 months. Teeup4Us back telling her I suspected he was married.
I told her she was married to a pathological liar and consummate cheater and she should divorce him before he crushes her heart. An online man emails you saying he is closing his dating site account but at the last minute he saw your profile, he was extremely attracted to you and he asks you to send him your email address so he can correspond with you. You feel uncomfortable communicating with a strange man outside a secure website. A married man has to wait to call you when he is away from his wife.
He emails you, telling you are a beautiful, fascinating woman and he would love to get to know you better. But when you click on his profile his account is closed. A married man will hop on and off of a dating website because he is afraid of being caught with his fly open. He emails and texts and even calls you regularly for a month or more, but he never makes plans to meet you in person or he cancels his trip at the last minute.
The one thing I have come to know about married men who cheat on and off online is: There are distinct warning signs that an online man may be married or have a girlfriend. When in doubt, ask yourself these questions: Married men online are more likely to initiate the first contact on a dating site.
Does he not post a photo or is his photo dark or blurry? Does he post only one photo or is he unwilling to trade additional photos? His online photo may not be his. Do you only get a cell phone number because he claims to have no home phone?
Are you unable to reach him by phone at night and weekends? Does he call from a private number? Do you call him but constantly go to voicemail? An indication that he has a wife or family and it is inconvenient to talk. Are his calls and responses back to you irregular or at set times? He calls when he is driving or at work, away from his wife. He is controlling when you can talk to him. Will he not share his last name with you?
Does he avoid conversations about himself, his family or upbringing? If you are dating a long-distance man, ask yourself these questions: Is he taking too long to meet you in person? Is he secretive about where he lives? Do you get the chance to meet his friends or family?
If not, odds are you are a secret in his life. You may an intense relationship with him, but the wife and family come first. The burden of proof of whether a man is single or married is on you.
I learned to pay attention to my knee-jerk instincts about an online man. I asked lots of questions and I studied between the lines. I asked direct questions about his work, family and friends and I invited myself to his home. If I was truly interested in a man, I ran a background check on him. Learn the warning signs of men who are emotionally unavailable, self-absorbed, non-committal or abusive in the best-selling self-help book: Never Date a Dead Animal: Ebooks available at online stores.