After a few e-mails, we texted with each other. His first text message was sexual and, being a flirty person, I responded back with some flirtatious banter. By the time we met up there was no conversation, it was virtually straight to sex. We continued meeting up and for the first 5 times I took it as just sex.
Not just sex, but really aggressive, dirty sex and sexual role-playing. A turning point came where he started showing another side of himself. A sweet, caring side. He even cooked me dinner.
What are your thoughts on a relationship happening after sex on the first date? Is sex on the first date a relationship killer?
Yes, a relationship can come from something that started with sex on the first date. I mean, if the sex happened after hours of amazing conversation and genuine connection, that will most likely have good potential for a relationship.
At least, it would at the very least not hurt you and might even help chances for a relationship. So on the one hand, if you went in there and had sex with virtually no connection established other than some playful, sexy banter and verbal foreplay, that will work against you in terms of being evaluated as a relationship partner. Sex and relationship feelings are WORLDS apart for guys in the beginning — they are completely separate during the beginning of a relationship and then merge later on down the line at the love stage.
If you want a relationship, I would encourage you to find ways to connect on a deeper level. Understand him, give him space to open up. If you want him to be more open with you, demonstrate openness. If you want him to connect with you on a deeper level, demonstrate coming from a deeper level. Not every guy will go for this he might not be in that place , but if he is, he might just begin walking down that path with you.
Now you mentioned that you have some pretty aggressive role-playing and sexual interplay. Role playing is about stepping into a role or character… and forming a genuine connection is the total opposite.
Given the set-up you described, making a relationship happen here might be tricky.