See what happens when you make bad decisions — namely, choosing the Other Guys subpar cable services. When you get bored, you start staring out windows. When you start staring out windows, you see things you shouldn't see. When you see things you shouldn't see, you need to vanish. When you need to vanish, you fake your own death. When you fake your own death, you dye your eyebrows. And when you dye your eyebrows, you attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Shifley.
Don't attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Shifley. Get rid of cable, and upgrade to DirecTV. The spot featured Mike O'Malley holding a small puppy, saying that since cable cost less than satellite, the money could be used to buy things like dog food, and that puppies love dog food, so that the simple conclusion must be that satellite hates puppies.
Cablevision has played it straight many times, with ads promising better picture because the pixels on your TV will be happier on Cablevision, or that Verizon is a phone company, and therefore too busy to provide you with internet service ironic, considering Cablevisions primary job is to provide you with TV, not Internet.
Some of their commercials from a few years ago were mistaken for parodies. Toshiba used a similar argument in one commercial to tout their shock-proof hard drives, because if a power station tech drops his laptop and breaks the hard disk, then it causes a glitch and the power will go out. If that happens, then your milk will spoil. If that happens, you'll drink the spoiled milk and turn into a zombie, then bite your roommate, who will then bite others until zombies roam the land.
It's ostensibly played for comedy, but the ad offers up a bit of Fridge Horror when you notice that the guy following this loony-bin train of logic is the president of the company. Toast always lands buttered-side down. Cats always land on their feet. So, what happens when you tape toast, buttered-side up, on a cat's back? In Latin America, during the edition of The World Cup , DirecTV advertised the then-upcoming football league seasons by telling the viewer about what would supposedly happen if they missed them a sequence of very improbable events leading to a bad situation.
One commercial's logic procedure goes from the viewer missing an important match to waking up in a dried ditch in the street. Another's goes from missing a match to flooding the house.
Haruhi Suzumiya does this at times. Then again, she is something of a Cloudcuckoolander , but it's most likely that she doesn't mean it seriously. The prologue of the 4th novel had this nice dialogue: Crab is a no-no. I can't take it. Picking the flesh out of the shell drives me nuts. Why can't crabs make their shells edible? How come they didn't do anything about that during the course of evolution, might I ask?
They don't undergo natural selection in the depths of the sea just for the sake of your stomach! Haruhi's take on that classic storytelling element, The Climax: There's something I've always wondered about. You often see people die in the last episode of TV shows and the like. Doesn't that feel unnatural? Why do they just happen to die at that time?
That's why I hate anything where someone dies at the end! I would never make a movie like that! She keeps up this trend in the spinoff series Haruhi-chan: Haruhi seeing some cherry blossoms blowing by: Under the cherry blossom Let's have a viewing party!
How do those thoughts connect to a cherry blossom viewing party? Yuri seems under the impression that being in the school's book club will make people believe he is an honors student. Seryuu of Akame ga Kill! After killing a group of bandits and rescuing their prisoner, she kills the woman for helping the bandits, despite her having only done so under threat of her own life.
Osaka from Azumanga Daioh is full of this, but one case stands out in particular: She also concludes that, since snails are not insects, they must in fact be bugs. Isaac and Miria of Baccano! One instance is kind of like the Fat Tony example, in which he argues that just as you can get vegetables from eating steak obviously, this is wrong itself , if you steal someone's wallet, whatever is inside then belongs to you. He also asserts that a mine in which gold has never been discovered is a great place to look for gold for precisely that reason.
Even better, the entire 'mining for gold' thing is linked with their usual career of thievery by Isaac claiming that they're stealing from the Earth itself. One of their heists involved stealing the front door of a museum, so that nobody could get in. Of course, since the police had to close the museum to investigate the theft, Isaac and Miria technically succeeded. Even better is his continuation of the "take someone's wallet" logic. If you pick up the person holding the wallet A loud doorbell is scary.
Scary like something dangerous. Dangerous like the Mafia, which means the Mafia have come to kill us, I know it! I have to hide! In Baka and Test: Summon the Beasts , the following exchange happens: You might not know this, but, in Japan there's a legend saying you'll be blessed if you confess beneath a legendary tree!
And there's only one thing "legendary tree" could be referring to at this school It refers to the legendary beauty, Hideyoshi Kinoshita!
In other words, you'll be blessed if you confess to Hideyoshi! This is wrong on so many levels that I don't even know where to begin. Kururi and Mairu ideas on "twin-ness" are baffling.
Thanks to their big brother, Izaya. Kida has moments, too, as he can conclude any remark by " After being hit in the head by a goon, he says this: You know that you could kill someone by hitting a vital spot on their head, right?
If you know this, then you were trying to kill me, right? So you shouldn't have any complaints no matter what I do to you, right?! He later makes a similar rant taken to an even greater level, arguing that since there's a 0.
In Mobile Suit Gundam: Char's Counterattack , Char decided the best way to save the good, green Earth with its beautiful environment from being destroyed would be to throw a whole ton of nukes at it.
Along with a giant asteroid. In the original show, Hayato and Kai are so mad that Amuro Ray wasn't executed for desertion that they, wait for it, desert.
In the first episode of Minami-ke Chiaki uses her own brand of insane troll logic to convince her sister that her classmate's love note is actually a challenge to a fight. And Chiaki's reason for doing this? In later episodes, Chiaki uses a new form of insane troll logic to adopt herself a brother who just so happens to be a girl simply because their last names are the same.
While Minami-ke is chock full of insane troll logic, Hosaka will always take the cake. Hosaka's brain automatically jumps from "Haruka likes good food" to "I must become the greatest chef ever to impress her. While pretty effective in a combat situation, Sosuke Sagara's mind becomes this in a school situation, always over-analyzing something and believing that it's got to be the work of a spy or potential assassin, or worse yet for the other students that it's supposed to provide them with Training from Hell as an example, he receives a letter from a Stalker with a Crush schoolgirl early in Fumoffu He also once takes an art teacher's statement that he should be "hard to get" as a model as an order to hunt his classmates down Predator -style as some kind of counter-surveillance exercise.
An episode of Kimba the White Lion has a Prima Donna Director who's filming a nature documentary use this logic as to why he put a captive orangutan in his documentary, even though there are no orangutans in Africa.
He says that because he and his workers are in Africa and that there's an orangutan the captive one right next to them, there are orangutans in Africa. Yeah, Haguro — people don't tend to actively go out and seek out people who want to do harm unto them. Soooooooo, why are you? To make this even more twisted in every possible way, his version of Disproportionate Retribution is drenched in this.
Some guy doesn't want you to bug him anymore with your psychotic shenanigans — and you believe that he wronged you by " ignoring you "? Well, why not settle this unfair dispute by kidnapping his Morality Chain , then having her chained to a wall and repeatedly gang raped for several hours in front of a camera where you have your object of "obsession" forcefully watch the act proceed as you threaten to release the video to ensure that said Implied Love Interest has her life ruined forever unless he transforms into a werewolf — during a time which he can't do so — just for you?
Gau from Nabari no Ou 's blind trust in Raikou occasionally leads him to make questionable leaps in logic, including his conviction that Kouichi likes glasses so much that he draws them onto his face with magic markers. Katsura from Gintama in particular deserves a special mention for believing that Gintoki could hide inside a tin can and writing an exam consisting of problems like "There are 10 Shinsengumi members.
Six Anti-Foreigner Faction members run into them. Three Anti-Foreigner Faction members are killed. The Anti-Foreigner Faction members kill two Shinsengumi members but six more join them and two Anti-Foreigner Faction members are injured. How many noses does Jackie have?