I hate the guy my mom is dating. Should I tell my mother that I don't like her new boyfriend?.



I hate the guy my mom is dating

I hate the guy my mom is dating

Share via Email I grew up in a loving family. My parents had a happy marriage, and my sister and I get on well. My father died two-and-a-half years ago. My sister and I don't like him as a person — he is rightwing, judgmental, unimaginative and awkward. I find it really difficult to have him in the house, and I can't relax. It makes me angry when he considers that I am the visitor and he is the host.

I think he overstays his welcome and should be more understanding of our family situation. Recently, I have started to see his presence in our house as a reminder of why he shouldn't be here at all. It makes me miss my father more deeply than I have in years, which is starting to make me angry and upset. Do I have a right to say something to my mum about it and ask for things to change?

I don't know whether I am having a childish reaction to this and should let her do what makes her happy. Anon, via email You do sound slightly childish and foot-stampy, but that's OK. I can see real caring and hurt behind your words. It is normal to feel as you do; lots of adult children feel hurt, angry, confused and childish when their parents take up with someone else whether the other parent has died, or after a split. It is OK to feel like this.

What would not be OK is for you to expect your mum to date a man you want her to date. But you know all this. I think you just needed to get all your feelings out, which tells me that this is less about the actual situation than it is about your emotions. You see, there are several things going on here: You don't have to lump them all together. First, you are right: Grief is a huge emotion and it often surprises people when they feel they can't just move on.

It doesn't matter that it's two-and-a-half years ago since your dad died: It will really help. Second, you want to spend more time with your mum and sister. I think because a part of you feels guilty and confused as in "I'm not sure how I should be feeling" , you are not acting decisively in the areas in which you can and should. It is perfectly acceptable to tell your mum that you want to spend time with just her and her other daughter. The boyfriend thing is another, separate, issue.

There are lots of positives to your mother having a new partner. Or is it really, truly about this man? Do you think that if you met your dad today you would think him perfect? I bet your dad was terrific, but no one is without some personality flaws.

It doesn't sound as if alarm bells are really ringing over this man. It is more what he represents, isn't it? Your mum may less have gone out with the first man who asked her surely you don't think she is that easily pleased?

She deserves that, doesn't she? Unfortunately, you may never like him. But I hope in time you can dislike him less. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.

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I hate the guy my mom is dating

Share via Email I grew up in a loving family. My parents had a happy marriage, and my sister and I get on well. My father died two-and-a-half years ago. My sister and I don't like him as a person — he is rightwing, judgmental, unimaginative and awkward.

I find it really difficult to have him in the house, and I can't relax. It makes me angry when he considers that I am the visitor and he is the host. I think he overstays his welcome and should be more understanding of our family situation. Recently, I have started to see his presence in our house as a reminder of why he shouldn't be here at all.

It makes me miss my father more deeply than I have in years, which is starting to make me angry and upset. Do I have a right to say something to my mum about it and ask for things to change? I don't know whether I am having a childish reaction to this and should let her do what makes her happy.

Anon, via email You do sound slightly childish and foot-stampy, but that's OK. I can see real caring and hurt behind your words. It is normal to feel as you do; lots of adult children feel hurt, angry, confused and childish when their parents take up with someone else whether the other parent has died, or after a split. It is OK to feel like this. What would not be OK is for you to expect your mum to date a man you want her to date.

But you know all this. I think you just needed to get all your feelings out, which tells me that this is less about the actual situation than it is about your emotions. You see, there are several things going on here: You don't have to lump them all together. First, you are right: Grief is a huge emotion and it often surprises people when they feel they can't just move on.

It doesn't matter that it's two-and-a-half years ago since your dad died: It will really help. Second, you want to spend more time with your mum and sister. I think because a part of you feels guilty and confused as in "I'm not sure how I should be feeling" , you are not acting decisively in the areas in which you can and should.

It is perfectly acceptable to tell your mum that you want to spend time with just her and her other daughter. The boyfriend thing is another, separate, issue. There are lots of positives to your mother having a new partner.

Or is it really, truly about this man? Do you think that if you met your dad today you would think him perfect? I bet your dad was terrific, but no one is without some personality flaws. It doesn't sound as if alarm bells are really ringing over this man. It is more what he represents, isn't it? Your mum may less have gone out with the first man who asked her surely you don't think she is that easily pleased?

She deserves that, doesn't she? Unfortunately, you may never like him. But I hope in time you can dislike him less. Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.

I hate the guy my mom is dating

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  1. Chances are that one or both of your parents will be with another person at some point in your life.

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