Kasandra Brabaw Photographed by Refinery Some of the big reveals on Bravo's new web series Secret Crush are awkward, some are sweet, and some are downright heart-wrenching. But if there's one thing all of the people on this show have in common, it's that they're incredibly brave. The show asks people to meet up with their crush over dinner or drinks and finally reveal that they like them.
If you're looking to make your own secret crush a little less secret but don't quite know how, don't worry. We talked to Dr. Bashan and Erika Ettin, an online dating coach and founder of A Little Nudge , for their tips on how to do it right. You might not even have to do it in person. Advertisement Read on for the rest of their tips, and take a deep breath.
You can do this. Ask your friends to boost your ego. If you need a little confidence boost before you say something, don't just rely on the thoughts spinning around your own head. Ask your friends to shout out all of the things they love about you. Then you can remember how thoughtful, caring, funny, and friendly you are, Dr. Bashan says, and it might help give you courage to face your crush.
If you don't want to involve your friends, you can always create affirmations for yourself. Just remember to stay positive — the goal here is lift yourself up, not tear yourself down. Think about the worst-case scenario. No, we're not saying that you should obsess over every detail that could go wrong. Would you really want to confess your feelings for someone after doing that? If you're asking out someone from your friend group , for example, the worst that could happen is that they say no and then maybe tell some of your mutual friends that you asked them out.
Advertisement illustrated by Paola Delucca. Consider doing it via text. Bashan said, it can be difficult for people to tell their crush that they like them face-to-face. So don't feel guilty if you'd rather do it over text message. While it might seem rude to say something so personal over text message after all, you'd never break up with someone via text , right? Bashan says it's okay in this case because once you declare your feelings, the other person needs to make a decision.
And they might need a minute to think about it. So telling someone you're interested over text message gives them time to collect their thoughts, instead of having to answer you on the spot.
So make sure what you tell your crush can't be misconstrued. That means being very straightforward about how you feel and using scary words like "date" and "relationship. Ettin knows this from experience. She was once interested in a man who shared office space with her.
So she gathered the courage to ask him out to a drink when she bumped into him around the water cooler. When she followed up to schedule a date through email, he casually mentioned that he'd have to ask his girlfriend when he was free. Needless to say, Ettin and this man didn't go on the date she was envisioning. When you're talking feelings, either over the phone or in person, it's a good rule of thumb to ease into the conversation, Dr.
I just want to share my feelings. Give them an out. Let's call it crafting a conversation with kindness. It starts with a compliment, Dr. Now that you know how to make the conversation happen, it's time to make the conversation happen.
But nerves are hard to battle, so if you're the type of person who needs a push, go ahead and set a deadline for yourself, Ettin says. Choose an arbitrary date, and put it in your calendar if you have to. Just don't keep pushing it off, because it has the potential get more awkward the longer you wait.