Now, when you are in an online relationship, breaking up seems so much easier. Since all means of communication are electronic, you literally just pull the plug. As a result you will be flooded with questions and messages through eMail, Skype, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and whatnot. So are there polite ways to end relationships online? A way without hurting or confusing your ex to the point where they will either hate or stalk you?
Yes, there is a polite way to break up. How are you going to tell your ex, what are the reasons, do you have to give all the reasons, can you remain friends? There are three polite means of communication through which you can end an online relationship. Rather, you should pick the one through which the two of you have been communicating the most. Thus your eMail will require a lot of thought.
Begin with the positive memories, what was gained in the relationship, what did you enjoy, and why did you appreciate being with your ex. Then explain why the relationship is no longer working for you. If there have been things that annoyed you, only mention them if your ex can change anything about it. For example, they cannot change their passions.
They can, however, change habits. You have to be determined to end this relationship and then pull through. Try to find the right moment to send the eMail. Send it when you know they will have time to read your eMail and think about it.
Whichever way you choose to break up, there are three golden rules to follow: Respect Respect your ex, do not make accusations, only blame yourself. It will make it easier for them to realize their own faults. Politeness Are there very specific reasons for breaking up? Only talk about them if your ex can actually change them. Be nice when expressing these reasons. Determination Do not send mixed messages. Be straight forward and to the point.
End it and mean it. Ask them whether they have some time now because you need to tell them something very important. Reschedule in case they are in a hurry. Because of that, you have to prepare very well. In any case, follow the three golden rules from above and be polite.
Ask them nicely to let you finish and say you will listen to them afterwards. Above all, be calm, patient, and positive and express it with your voice. Even if what you say is perfectly polite and respectful, your tone of voice can ruin the message. Be prepared for questions and be open!
Answer as nicely and honest as you can once, as in one eMail or one chat session. Then terminate the conversation. If you want to remain friends, at least ask for a break.
Finally, tell them that you do not wish to be contacted again. As I said in the introduction, there are no guarantees things will go your way.
Maybe you are ending the relationship because your ex has been way too attached to you and you barely had room to breathe. However, if it happens anyways, know that you are no longer dealing with a friend. You are now dealing with someone who is obsessed with you. In other words, handle them like a stalker, not like someone you once cared for. That means you may never encourage them in any way. Do not feel tempted to comfort them. Stalking is a crime. You will receive further help through the Stalking self-help page.
For any future online relationships, know that this could happen with anyone, anytime. Hence, limit the amount of information you share about yourself. At least until you fully trust that person. Has someone broken up with you? You might find this article on How to Write a Goodbye Letter helpful. What was the worst way someone has broken up with you?