How to ask a guy if we are dating. When is a relationship a relationship?.



How to ask a guy if we are dating

How to ask a guy if we are dating

I was in college and had been seeing this guy for a little over a month and had never felt so strongly for someone else, ever.

That all changed one night when I introduced him to my friends for the first time. The night started out great, we had some drinks and went to a bar with some of his friends. In addition to a fresh coat of powder and gloss, I left the bathroom with a giant chip on my shoulder. Later that night, fueled by tequila and insecurity, I absolutely needed to know the status of our relationship, like right this second. As soon as he and I were alone back at his place, the tsunami brewing in my head all night came rushing forth, catching my guy completely off guard.

In the end, I had no title and a severe lacking in dignity those got washed away by a flood of drunk tears…the absolute worst kind of tears. The relationship trudged on for some time, but the dynamic had completely changed. From then on he always felt out of my reach. The terms of the relationship became entirely his to dictate and I anxiously waited for him to pick me, while I tried to prove that I was good enough and worthy of being his girlfriend. Try not to have it. Relationships work best when you can just live in the moment and let things unfold naturally, without pressure or an agenda.

Give it some time. I would say wait about two to three months before getting into the title talk. Relationships take time to develop. Every relationship is a unique experience and moves at a different rate. By that point, you should have an idea of where things are headed. Be clear on what you want before you go in. In my case, I wanted a committed relationship and instead settled for something that made me feel inadequate and kind of pathetic.

When you recognize and admit what it is you want, you will be better able to move towards it. Remember, you deserve to have the relationship you want and do not need to settle for the scraps someone else is willing to spare.

Take a few days or even weeks to get clear on exactly what you want from a relationship. Let this information penetrate your being and embolden you. When you are solid in your convictions you will be able to come from a place of confidence and high self-worth, which ultimately sets the foundation for you to get what it is you want.

I think my story attests to this one pretty well! The fact is, men typically do not respond well when a woman is coming at them from a place of emotion. They are much more logical and pragmatic in how they approach life and problems and are much more receptive when a woman comes to them from a place of strength and reason, as opposed to a crumbling emotional mess.

So if you must have the talk, make sure to do it when you are strong, clear-headed, and know exactly what it is you want. Will you stay and wait it out? Spend some time really considering the answers to these questions. If he really likes you , he will happily put a label on it.

Also, this talk can only be had in person. You approached him in a confident, direct manner and conveyed to him in your own way that you want the relationship to be official. Instead, I came from a selfish place and let my ego get way too involved.

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How to ask a guy if we are dating

I was in college and had been seeing this guy for a little over a month and had never felt so strongly for someone else, ever. That all changed one night when I introduced him to my friends for the first time.

The night started out great, we had some drinks and went to a bar with some of his friends. In addition to a fresh coat of powder and gloss, I left the bathroom with a giant chip on my shoulder.

Later that night, fueled by tequila and insecurity, I absolutely needed to know the status of our relationship, like right this second. As soon as he and I were alone back at his place, the tsunami brewing in my head all night came rushing forth, catching my guy completely off guard. In the end, I had no title and a severe lacking in dignity those got washed away by a flood of drunk tears…the absolute worst kind of tears.

The relationship trudged on for some time, but the dynamic had completely changed. From then on he always felt out of my reach. The terms of the relationship became entirely his to dictate and I anxiously waited for him to pick me, while I tried to prove that I was good enough and worthy of being his girlfriend.

Try not to have it. Relationships work best when you can just live in the moment and let things unfold naturally, without pressure or an agenda. Give it some time. I would say wait about two to three months before getting into the title talk.

Relationships take time to develop. Every relationship is a unique experience and moves at a different rate. By that point, you should have an idea of where things are headed.

Be clear on what you want before you go in. In my case, I wanted a committed relationship and instead settled for something that made me feel inadequate and kind of pathetic. When you recognize and admit what it is you want, you will be better able to move towards it.

Remember, you deserve to have the relationship you want and do not need to settle for the scraps someone else is willing to spare. Take a few days or even weeks to get clear on exactly what you want from a relationship. Let this information penetrate your being and embolden you. When you are solid in your convictions you will be able to come from a place of confidence and high self-worth, which ultimately sets the foundation for you to get what it is you want.

I think my story attests to this one pretty well! The fact is, men typically do not respond well when a woman is coming at them from a place of emotion. They are much more logical and pragmatic in how they approach life and problems and are much more receptive when a woman comes to them from a place of strength and reason, as opposed to a crumbling emotional mess.

So if you must have the talk, make sure to do it when you are strong, clear-headed, and know exactly what it is you want. Will you stay and wait it out? Spend some time really considering the answers to these questions. If he really likes you , he will happily put a label on it. Also, this talk can only be had in person.

You approached him in a confident, direct manner and conveyed to him in your own way that you want the relationship to be official. Instead, I came from a selfish place and let my ego get way too involved.

How to ask a guy if we are dating

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2 Comments

  1. Initiating means he never liked you in the first place. In addition to a fresh coat of powder and gloss, I left the bathroom with a giant chip on my shoulder.

  2. Asking you specific questions about your life? We asked dating expert Marni Battista for her thoughts on what women can do to redress this imbalance if they're thinking "should I ask him out? If you wanted to be exclusive and the person is into that — good for you!

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