How long did it take you before you were ready to date again? Any tips for getting back out there? After a breakup, I just default to taking time without having to give thought to it.
I feel or think I've always been good at taking my "internal" inventory. If I'm still angry, which I have been, though anger is SO not my default, I've not always had specific questions answered or issued addressed. I understand that's not always possible, and it IS up to met to come to my own resolution. I can say this, as a fact, that I've never ended a relationship where it was a surprise or the other party said they were blind-sided.
There is no default easy way to end a relationship, if either party were actually invested. The part that I hated the most, honestly it that it was always left to ME to be labeled the "bad guy" when it had been discussed, communicated, I was the one that finally brought the close to what both knew was coming.
I compare it to the person that pulls the actual plug on a DNR. I know what I'm thinking, feeling and what I'm needing, and I've been fortunate enough to have had that support network. I hope that makes sense. It's not a matter of how long does it take. I'm sure I'm not the only that wished it were that simple. The truth is that when some or most relationships end, either part can have unfinished or unresolved "stuff" to coin the technical term This is only one of the definitions for baggage, as much I don't like the term because it's so misused and misunderstood.
How I define baggage is what the "new" person has to face and deal with that the other person dragged into and didn't try, attempt to or even recognize the need to. I am patient and understanding, but there is a limit. While I'm open and willing to share, if the other person either isn't or expects me to help which I can't their unresolved issued from the last person.
I have no problem letting them go and cutting loose. When I know when I'm ready is when I don't NEED to talk about the last, and am open and can be interested and willing to invest the time with someone "new". I don't know how to measure that, in how long it takes.
I just know when I am and when I'm not.