Originally Posted by Pogona I know this is gonna sound weird but Dumpers frequently start new relationships quickly after they end the old one. I think this happens for several fairly logical reasons. I'll preface this by saying that I have been on both sides of this thing. I once ended a 4 year relationship and started a new one 3 weeks later. And when my fiance dumped me 2 months before our wedding, it was quite the punch in the gut to see her dating some d-bag 2 weeks after the break up.
I started with this one because it's probably the worst to face. Unless she is a completely heartless bitch unlikely, despite popular belief those girls are rare she does feel guilty about dumping you. She may not even fully realize it, but she does. Being with someone new helps her take her mind off of the pain she surely caused you.
No one likes to think of themselves as having caused someone else pain. Unless she really hated you, which it doesn't sound like she did. This is a big one. New relationships feel great. Sorry, but you have to admit that's likely true. It may suck to think about but, but you should remember that it doesn't at all mean that the new relationship IS better. If she's at all intelligent she knows this, but that won't really matter because it quiets the little voice that wonders whether or not she did the right thing.
The end of the relationship was presumably quite unexpected She had time to brace herself, even if only slightly. She had time to think, to rationalize, to get ready. You had none of that. Of course it's taking you more time to get over it.
These are things I had to realize myself, once upon a time. When the ex moves on so soon is really tough. It makes you feel like maybe she never cared, that maybe you were never really important if you were so easily replaced. HUGE hit to the old self esteem. But the take-away message from the things I listed is this: She's not doing it to hurt you, but she is doing it on purpose.
She didn't just fall into someone else's arms in a blissfully forgetful haze. She probably doesn't really even care whether this new relationship works out or not. She's just trying to move on.
I'm not trying to say you should forgive her. But focus on what's important. By which I mean, the fact that she dumped you is the only thing that matters. If you want to hate her for that, go for it. But getting wrapped up in whoever she's dating now is pointless. It will only bring you down.
Which is stupid, because as I said it has nothing to do with you. Thanks, this post really helped. I was thinking the same thing I'm trying to move on. I haven't spoken to her in about 20 days. But I do think about her everyday. At work at home no matter where I am I still think of her. It just sucks knowing she's not "the one" I will be with for the rest of my life because I truly do Love her.