Dating your phd supervisor. Love in the Lab.



Dating your phd supervisor

Dating your phd supervisor

I understand that having a relationship with him is inappropriate due to the power dynamics, etc. However, we tend to spend about 1 night a week together. Usually this starts off as meeting about something academic related at his home, and then we end up going to dinner, and then going back to his house to see a movie or something. However, I find myself falling for him and also very confused by his intentions.

Sometimes I get a romantic vibe from him, and sometimes I get a much more fatherly vibe. This is typically what I do with male friends where there is romantic attraction. However, this is a much more risky relationship and I am unsure if and how to approach it. I was wondering if anyone has any thoughts or advice. Should I bring it up with him? Update 4 months later: I never did move meetings to the office, etc.

We're still spending a lot of time together, and I really enjoy it. However, I did try to expand my social life and that has helped with the borderline obsessing. I still would like to have a romantic relationship with him, but I don't feel as preoccupied with those thoughts. I haven't brought it up to him, but maybe once I graduate I will ; Update 2 10 months later: I'm still really into him.

I really wish he'd bring it up with me, because I'm too shy to bring it up to him at this point and I worry if I brought it up he'd quit spending so much time with me. I feel like he's probably into me too given that there's no way he can't see that I'm interested but maybe he's not interested to the same degree. In any case, if you're out there advisor, let me know! Also if you're just some other soul who's in love with your advisor or student or what not, feel free to private message me.

I still check this account and it'd be nice to chat:

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How to Ruin your Mental Health as a PhD Student



Dating your phd supervisor

I understand that having a relationship with him is inappropriate due to the power dynamics, etc. However, we tend to spend about 1 night a week together. Usually this starts off as meeting about something academic related at his home, and then we end up going to dinner, and then going back to his house to see a movie or something. However, I find myself falling for him and also very confused by his intentions.

Sometimes I get a romantic vibe from him, and sometimes I get a much more fatherly vibe. This is typically what I do with male friends where there is romantic attraction. However, this is a much more risky relationship and I am unsure if and how to approach it. I was wondering if anyone has any thoughts or advice. Should I bring it up with him? Update 4 months later: I never did move meetings to the office, etc.

We're still spending a lot of time together, and I really enjoy it. However, I did try to expand my social life and that has helped with the borderline obsessing. I still would like to have a romantic relationship with him, but I don't feel as preoccupied with those thoughts. I haven't brought it up to him, but maybe once I graduate I will ; Update 2 10 months later: I'm still really into him. I really wish he'd bring it up with me, because I'm too shy to bring it up to him at this point and I worry if I brought it up he'd quit spending so much time with me.

I feel like he's probably into me too given that there's no way he can't see that I'm interested but maybe he's not interested to the same degree.

In any case, if you're out there advisor, let me know! Also if you're just some other soul who's in love with your advisor or student or what not, feel free to private message me.

I still check this account and it'd be nice to chat:

Dating your phd supervisor

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3 Comments

  1. A bad break up here could follow a person around to conferences and polarize a community interfering with future post doc positions.

  2. Different department, same subfield is less risky than if the senior person was in the same department. The fact that there is not an equivalent word for men with a negative connotation is a discussion for a different post. This nasty habit leads to a student with a false sense of independence 'I've got plenty of time and I'm in control' and a boss with a false sense of security 'I've not heard anything from them so I assume everything is OK'.

  3. However, the impact of such policies may be limited. The fact that there is not an equivalent word for men with a negative connotation is a discussion for a different post. Similarly if the relationship becomes serious, you'll have to report it to university officials and it will become publicly known, in which case again the above outcomes are both likely.

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