Jacinta Moore Although I have spent the last 16 years in two long-term relationships with an American and an Italian, there have been intermittent periods of dating in two international metropolises—New York and Rome. I have also experienced the grey area of accepting dates from Europeans living in America, that provided the best of both worlds. Many stories of relocation have common threads in which people from all walks of life leave their childhood home and start anew in a big city for personal and professional goals and fulfillment.
This can be true from someone who has picked up and taken off from the American Midwest or migrated from southern to central Italy. However, there are some unique, funny, cultural, and outright strange differences that really impact the experience of courtship from both sides of the Atlantic. The next time a date is offered and accepted, here are some things to consider… 1. First impressions and personal sense of style. European men take great pride in dressing up and being well-groomed for a date.
They select their clothes for the fit and neutral color palette and appreciate a warm smile at first glance based upon their effort and attractiveness. Only if coming from work, perhaps a suit without the tie. They are more concerned about comfort yet will maybe joke that they are too dressed down.
European men have a strong sense of cultural and historic pride. American men have a strong sense of degrees earned and career related pride. A first date may be to meet up for drinks or a mid-week dinner and reciprocally discuss university studies, internships, promotions, and the workday.
Compliments, flirting, and laughter. European men are charming with their words. American men are sweet yet more reserved with the outpouring of compliments. If they make her laugh, they are working hard to win her over. Most men will be insulted or put off if she reaches for the check, offers to split it in half, or emasculates him by overtly shooting down what he has planned for their enjoyment together.
In return, he sincerely wants to be met half way with simple kindness and attentiveness. With women making equal or even more money, a power struggle or blurred lines can occur anywhere from making plans, initiating communication, and determining the direction of the courtship. The chase and conquer. European men love the chase. From boyhood they have learned to convince, persuade, hunt, negotiate, and develop skills of being persistent and clever—as passed on from their fathers, grandfathers, and so on.
Women who gently resist, make them work to win over her heart, and present a playful challenge will make him feel successful that he has conquered the heart of his treasure. American men tend to be more direct, straight talking, and relaxed.
If they want to court a woman, they will let her know through actions and words without much fuss, but will still hold her to standards of being too willing and eager to give to him without rightfully earning her affection. The beauty of doing something vs. European men may think up interesting, stimulating, and amusing dates but it tends to be one outing or activity per meeting.
This is because Sunday lunch can last for four hours followed by a walk. Going dancing means you start the night at American men are thoughtful in their planning, yet also have spontaneity to see how the date is progressing.
It may start out as a Sunday brunch and if all goes well, an early evening movie at the theatre, followed by catching a bite and a drink afterwards. Smoking and drinking while enjoying an evening out. Europe is known for its healthier and farm fresh cuisines, active lifestyle of frequent walks around the town or city square, along with valuing the importance of taking a daily dose of fresh air. However, smoking is still quite predominant within many countries.
However, a glass of wine is sipped and enjoyed for its flavor and accompaniment to conversation or the meal, not for further recreation. Yet there is less interest in smoking as people choose to protect this aspect of their health. However, anywhere from a glass to four of alcohol may be enjoyed during the course of dinner along with some under-the-influence behaviors. The language of the gaze. European men will gaze at a woman of interest until she senses it. During courtship, a language of the eyes develops as looks, stares, and glances speak volumes of appreciation, interest, flirtation, and comfort.
American men will wait for a woman to stare at him first and give him the go-ahead to approach once their eyes have met. During courtship, he relies more on gestures and words rather than eye contact to demonstrate his affection. European men are hot blooded and passionate about life, love, politics, economy, family, sports, and their interests. They are more emotive and expressive yet retain their masculinity. American men have more of a cool reserve that certainly illustrates strong work ethnic, intelligence and interest in both world concerns and academic education, along with making time for hobbies.
However, they express themselves conversationally and with more tranquility. Independence and future planning. European men like to live in the moment. However, there is a lot of external factors regarding economic crisis and strong family ties that impedes the path of marriage sooner rather than later. American men are more future oriented and value organization, hard work, and planning to reach both short and long term goals. If they feel good in the presence of their woman, they tend to commit and marry sooner because they see the value of wanting her to share life together side by side.
They also strike more of a balance between family and their personal lives. Meet the students of Five Points High School. Catch Five Points, a new series only on Facebook Watch. Although I have spent the last 16 years in two long-term relationships with an American and an Italian, there have been intermittent periods … …read more […] http: