Because he is doing something important. Insert serious face Pause. He turns back to his emails and computer screen. He turns back to me. My husband works with women, too; helping them around the world get the commitment and relationship that other people envy.
So his next reaction encompasses a deep understanding of women AND the frustration of the every day male. What the hell does THAT mean. What my husband said is every bit the point. Although him not calling DOES give that feeling to a woman. Women however, have been using their auditory senses for that 84, generations or more to talk to each other.
We like the phone, we can spend ages on the phone just babbling. Men use the phone usually to get from A to B. A and B could be something related to work or it could be related to organising a date, or to get a piece of information, or to deliver information. He felt terrible on the phone with you, so it made matters worse. They DO use it to chat, but usually they do this the MOST when they are first falling in love with a woman…and this initial in love phase passes. Because his brain is involved with something ELSE that is important in his world.
And when he is involved with something else…. With the exception of a time when he is in love. Men call more often than they would when they have just fallen in love. This all takes a lot of energy. This is the process of pair bonding. When a man is focused on business or anything related to the progression of his rank in society sports, work, entrepreneurial related tasks ; it IS life or death.
He often just forgets to call, and he does not have any bad intent when he forgets. Do YOU have bad intentions when you make you both late to a party because you spent 3 hours getting ready? Do you have bad intent when you spend hours getting ready for an important party? Do you intend to hurt or piss off your man by spending far too long putting on make up, or doing your hair, and changing your mind about outfits? The same lack of bad intent exists when a man is interested, but is doing something important.
Because we imply meaning in words. And that we are no longer loved in that moment and that person might abandon us. It makes women angry. It makes MEN confused. Neither of us have bad intentions with the other person, we are just being a man or being a woman.
But we only feel hurt because of the meaning we place on his not calling. But I believe that takes time and the building of trust between two people. If you want a long term relationship, you must be willing to have patience with a man. They are not as instinctively driven to connect as females are. Unless they are actually more feminine inside their physical body. My honest belief is that in a committed relationship; for the relationship to work, both people must put each other first.
This becomes a huge problem. So How do you Encourage him to call more? There are many ways to encourage him to call more. The one suggestion I will make today is for you to do what is counter intuitive: ENJOY every call he makes. This is the common response from women. Share your story with us!