Tweet Raising tiny humans is a huge responsibility; dating a parent is, too. Natasha Miles offers a few key considerations before you date someone with children. You have to get past all the narcissists , then come the energy vampires, and once you clear them you must weed out the liars and cheaters. But what if they have a child or multiple children?
How can you be sure you can deal with the requirements of this relationship? Here are a few things to think about that can help you decide if you are mature enough or ready to date someone with children. Just because a person has kids does not mean they are off the market. The only thing that it changes is knowing this relationship will have more requirements.
People in this situation can and do have success, and often end up in happy marriages. Dating a person with kids has a different set of challenges, but its not an impossible feat. Know and Respect Your Limitations From the beginning you need to know what your limits are—especially those who aim to please people. If you are going to be an adult about this situation, you also have to protect yourself. Ask first and then act accordingly. Sometimes when a person is dating someone with kids they are too helpful.
If you have good open communication, your partner will tell you when help is needed. On the same token, if you are asked to do something and you are uncomfortable do the task, speak up. Your partner will understand and appreciate your honesty. If your partner and the ex are on good terms you may have to meet them, and deal with them frequently. If they no longer talk with each other, be prepared to hear about the ex on more than a few occasions. It takes kids a bit to warm up to new people, especially if they want mom and dad back together.
You should never, ever say anything bad about the ex to the child , no matter what your partner says. Kids want to know that they can count on you, and that you will protect them.
Once you show them this, things may start to get easier. The little stuff is how your feelings grow. There is room in your heart if you have courage to allow people in.
Or you can do something that includes the kids. Understand that as much as your partner wants to spend time with you, it is not wise to make them pick between their child and you. Never put them in this situation because it makes you seem inconsiderate. Activities must be planned out in advance to have the best and most enjoyable outcome.
Awkward and Tense Moments Will Happen How good are you at dealing with awkward moments and tense situations?
Dating a person with kids can be a bit stressful at times, especially if your partner is having problems. Can you be there in the good and bad times? Sometimes there are financial problems, there can be emotional issues or the other parent at have an issue moving in. Parents who date are looking for a stable person, not just someone who moves with the breeze.
Not every situation is the same and you must understand that your partner will need your support and will expect you to understand. This allows for open and honest communication, and nobody feels taken for granted. Dating someone with kids could be the start to an whole new life but you have to be tough enough to handle it, and loving enough to accept it.