Posted by Jordyn Sunday marks the day Jordan and I first met. Just a week after my 23rd birthday we were invited skiing with our two friends who had just started dating, my friend broke her wrist, and Jordan and I spent a great deal of the day talking to one another. For Jordan, the latter was less of a big deal than it was to me. Initially when we met I completely ruled out the idea of dating him. I was a full time nanny, he was the owner of a construction company. As someone who always feels misunderstood and misrepresented that last part was huge.
I was sick of guys who saw me as a blonde barbie kind of girl, and Jordan was just the opposite. He saw past everything superficial and seemingly appreciated my soul. At the time, I was telling the truth and I wondered why I had been so judgmental of dating a guy even 5 years older than me before I often refused.
As time went on and our lives became more intertwined my opinion shifted once again. How does a ten year age gap affect our relationship? I think the answer depends on the stages of our relationship. Jordan is so focused on his career while I still want to drop everything to travel the world.
I have a feeling that as I become more settled in my career, my finances and adulthood the age difference will matter less once again. It helps that I am ever so slightly more mature and Jordan is so youthful and playful. Our problems are relative and the reality is, a lot of the day to day struggles you encounter in your early twenties may be different in your early thirties. It can be difficult for your significant other to fully understand your perspective if they have been removed from the same struggles for years.
Jordan and I can both daydream about purchasing a house or condo, however, his ambitions are rooted in reality while mine seem like an idea for the distant future. Maybe you call your Mom every time you need to bake a potato or get a stain out of a silk shirt or perhaps the highlight of your weekend was when your Grandma took you out for brunch and took you shopping.
In your early twenties you are still adjusting to adulthood, which often means your family members are still transitioning into fully treating you like an adult. Understandably these relationships are different. Whisking away on a whim for the weekend, playing hooky from work to celebrate your anniversary, or taking off a month for the summer to backpack through Europe might sound like great ideas to you. Like any couple chances are you will value certain activities more than others. It is likely your age gap will enhance these differences.
As a generalization men and women in their twenties tend to be more impetuous, while men and women in their thirties are more likely to tie themselves to additional responsibilities. Perhaps the greatest difference your age gap will accentuate is the most obvious, your partner no matter how shockingly similar to you has additional years of life you have yet to experience. In early adulthood many individuals face a transitionary period in life.
It has never mattered that he has already experienced many of the exciting new changes I am going through for the first time because he still makes our experience together feel special. At the end of the day it is up to you and your partner to decipher if your age gap is complimentary or just too different. What is important to me is being with someone who values my need to overanalyze my feelings, who can be totally silly with me in public, and who will love the people I care most deeply for. In Jordan I have found a best friend and so much more.
Did you find out the age gap mattered more or less than you initially thought it would?