The point of this period is to see whether you are compatible for marriage. During courtship, you get to know more about the person; you see them in different scenarios, with friends and family and in different seasons of the year. You get to know their likes and dislikes, and if they have any annoying habits. The longer the courtship period, the more you get to know about the person. Somewhere down the line maybe a few months, or perhaps, years , you decide that you know enough about the person to take that step towards marriage.
There are however, some disadvantages to having a long courtship period. The obvious one is physical intimacy. The desire to get closer physically is sometimes one of the main reasons some Christian couples decide to get married sooner rather than later. If you love someone and are physically attracted to them, it is only natural to want to take that relationship to the next level physically. Having a long courtship period basically means that you have to wait longer, and not everyone is blessed with the patience to wait.
Another possible disadvantage if you choose to see it that way is linked to having children. Women have biological clocks and medically, the older you are, the less fertile you become.
If this is something that concerns you particularly, waiting a few years before getting married can be challenging. On this issue, I try to remind people that God is the ultimate giver of children, and if His plan for you includes having kids, then, it will happen. It is also worth remembering that marriage is first of all about the husband and wife; children are an additional blessing.
Whatever the reason, some people decide to trust their instincts or their gut feeling and just go for it. The argument for this is that, sometimes, we over-complicate this whole marriage thing. Surely the most important thing is that the person loves God, you guys get along and you have some things in common.
Being physically attracted to the person obviously helps too. Suddenly you realise that he burps every time he eats, or that she picks her nose when she thinks no one is watching.
Hmmm… If you marry someone without taking the time to get to know them, without seeing them in different scenarios, with family and friends, at different times of the year yes, some people are different in the winter compared to the summer , you could be in for more rough patches than you care to count. This may sound crazy to some people, but is not at all crazy to them. Where do I stand in all of this? I personally believe it is crucial that you get to know someone as much as possible before getting married to them.
Even when two people are right for each other, you can never underestimate the importance of taking the time to get to know each other.
During the courtship phase, you get the chance to ask each other questions and discuss your dreams, and plans for the future, amongst other things. But like I said at the beginning, every relationship is different, and what works for one may not work for the other. So, what do you think? Date to marry or marry to date?
Read more articles on: She has a passion for genuine and heartfelt worship and serves as a worship leader at her local church. She founded the online Christian magazine 'Reach and Inspire Magazine' www.