I am in a quandary and I am hoping you can help. Last month, I wrote to two men that I was very interested in. The good news is that both of them wrote me back and I have been seeing both for the past weeks. Things have been going well, and I give a lot of credit to what I have learned from your book, emails and this site. However, this is not something I have ever done before and I am having a hard time with the idea of juggling.
The problem is that I really like both of them and they both seem to be really amazing guys. I know I need to make a decision before things go too far becoming too physical , but how do I know when? Making a decision about a guy is no different than any other decision. Many people may not see this as being a true problem. They seem to be feeling pretty strongly so I feel some pressure to figure this out. Any help you can provide would be so appreciated.
Thank you, Maggie High quality problems, indeed. I recall one time that I was dating two women simultaneously for about a month. My ambivalence was a feeling, more than a logical choice. Which is why I kept looking around on JDate for that entire month that I was seeing both of them. As it turns out, I met a third woman, who was so incredible that I immediately emailed the other two, broke things off, and took my profile down to commit.
Naturally, it took the third woman about two weeks to feel comfortable committing to me, but she eventually did. This is a somewhat complicated but typical example of how dating works. And neither party is under any obligation until both parties agree to commit to each other. Which brings me to a very important point: Your choice is not binary, nor is it permanent.
This conversation is over. You agree to be exclusive with Bachelor 2. What does that say about you, men, or dating? All it tells us is that… 3. The faster they follow up, the more work they choose to take on, the quality of their performance — all will start to differentiate these two men to make your decision a lot easier. Everyone figures this out, eventually. Physical intimacy is a personal decision. I stuck with that and avoided breaking a lot of hearts. I predict that by the time you read this, Maggie, everything will have sorted itself out.
So please come back and let us know if I retroactively steered you in the right direction, okay?