As I am once again experiencing issues with a Brazilian woman, Nick shared this blog post with me. It provides advice to American men regarding dating Brazilian women, and is written by a Brazilian woman currently living in the states who writes under the name BrasilMagic.
This, I fully realize, is a foray into dangerous territory. Giving advice about dealing with the fairer sex — in particular the fairer Brazilian sex — is inherently risky.
And of course whatever I write, some readers will disagree. The lord hates a coward. Brazil is a huge country, the size of the continental U. Brazil is also in a state of flux.
Only a couple of generations ago, women were really just getting their footing in the professional workplace. The focus was still on raising a family. It hit hard, and it hit fast. Today women are dentists and doctors and lawyers and business owners. To get an idea of just how much things have changed in the last 20 or 30 years, read this article in National Geographic.
I fully expect to take some heat for some of my comments below. Our opinions are shaped by our own personal experiences. When I visit the U. Gringos e brasileiras combinam… First I think an American man and we can include Canadians and many Europeans in the group and a Brazilian woman can often form a good couple, a couple that functions. Much less frequently do you see a functional couple formed of an American woman and a Brazilian man. Perhaps American women chafe under what they see as lingering machismo.
As for American men and Brazilian women: Brazilian women tend to be very feminine. They wear their hair long, they like to dress up, they have a quiet simple style about them. They seem to truly enjoy being female, if that makes any sense. Social status, region, and personal chemistry, among other factors, all play a part.
These do not equate to being easy. Even if you are sincere and trying to be charming, the object of your attentions may be leery at first. She has reason to be. She has been hurt. You have to persist a bit if you really like her.
Show her that you are sincere. What I have found to be true is that a brasileira has to size you up carefully.
As noted, they are often leery of foreigners, and often with good reason. But, once she feels comfortable with you, things can move quickly indeed. Age difference is less of an issue here, as is true throughout the Latin world.
But typically these days the more educated women seem to prefer men closer to their own age. Perhaps they see us as more financially stable, or perhaps as less likely to be dogs. Many men worry about encountering a gold digger here. If a woman is too willing to leave her family and go back with you, it should be a warning sign.
Social mobility is on the rise here, but old money marries old money. As a foreigner, it will often be assumed that you, too, have money, but watch for the little questions intended to ferret out how much. A movie and a dinner in a nice restaurant — sort of the boring default date back home — may be quite a treat for her and win you points. Brasileiras can be very emotional. You may be exotic and exciting to her.
Be aware of this. By the same token, beware of falling too fast yourself. Is it love, or the whole exotic experience? If, like me, you were raised Southern, fall back on that Southern upbringing and Mom will love you. And Mom needs to like you. The beautiful people are the wealthy people and vice versa.
Can you find a pretty girl in Rocinha the largest favela in Rio? Brazil is pretty ageist. Sure, there are many lovely young women here. But there are many lovely, intelligent mature women here that do not receive the attention they should. Happens all the time. Brazilians, both men and women, can be a bit fanatical about personal hygiene. The Northeast and North are more traditional. But things are changing rapidly. It used to be, as one simple example, that the man always paid for everything every time they went out.
Now many brasileiras take pride in splitting the check or even in treating on occasion. But many good girls prefer to stay at home. Many are leery of American men. The carioca market is interesting to say the least! If a woman accuses you of cheating, she may be simply displaying that most common of Latin emotions: Then again, it could well be a sign that she is cheating on you.
Been there… At times all women are confusing to us men. Agree or disagree as you will. John Still hanging out in Brazil Come visit beautiful Brazil! Or just come to enjoy the sand, sun, surf, and natural beauty that drew me back again and again.