King Kong 1, Andy note: This post was inspired by What every banker girl needs. Once again, this reminds me that there are many delusional girls in New York City. Village Voice published an article in that detailed how unbearable these women are: It's Not Them, It's You. I want to talk about how they think, what they got it all wrong and why you shouldn't waste your time on them. I am at a Private Equity firm that focuses on Emerging Markets.
Here is My Blog. I have helped many men get married as well as get into a long lasting relationship. I also write a column for one of the best dating coaches in the US.
I enjoy helping people with their career challenges as well as with their relationship problems. Just to remind our readers about Bankerella's post , a bit self absorbed? Every week I handle a bunch call it a round half-dozen of challenges that I consider to be a basic part of my life.
Take a bullet for the team. Be unable to get enough time to eat or use the bathroom for hours. Stand up for yourself to the guy who signs your checks. Make a big, career-defining decision on data you know is bad. Meet a big CFO for the first time and be asked to tell him, on the spot, in front of your boss, what you think he's doing wrong.
Wait it gets better He's constantly freaking out about challenges that wouldn't be challenges at all if he weren't such a delicate fucking flower. I do not want to listen to him trying and failing to solve life problems that I consider insignificant. Also, my time is fucking valuable. If you get two hours on my calendar, I need to walk away with two hours' worth of good stuff, and I want a guy who expects the same from me. As I was reading her post, I can't help but to remember a few quotes that I have read from this article: At some point, I yelled at almost all of these men for not being "what I wanted," and, as we all do, turned to my female friends for consolation and support.
They're all gay or taken! For every loser I've screamed at, there have been nice, normal single guys with perfectly acceptable ZIP codes and ages and jobs and habits who never did a thing wrong but for some reason were chucked after the first or second, or maybe even third, date for being boring, predictable, too nice, too normal, not successful enough, or.
The scariest of scary words. Let's talk about your typical "banker chick" in NYC. Most banker chicks I have met are hardcore nerds. They went to the best high schools in their respective countries. If they were here for their MBA, they went to top notch undergraduates either in the US or in their home countries.
All of these banker chicks went to Ivy League. They are extremely delusional: I have met a girl at Goldman Sachs who works in their Quant group. She always wears Chanel, head to toe for every networking events and always give off condescending attitude. What they say and how they think. These are things that I actually hear: My current boyfriend is only an Analyst at a BB. I need to at least date someone who is at the VP level. I am independent woman and I expect men to pay for dates and I also want someone who can take care of me, if I choose to be a full-time housewife.
I am always confused what does this actually mean. Do you want to be a full time housewife or not? How can you claim to be independent while expecting men to pay? No, I am not kidding. I have been seeing a few other men on the side whom I find pretty attractive and excited to be with. They feel that their current boyfriends are beta-males good providers while they look for fun with alpha -males.
Btw, meet my newest family member named: MoMo, 4 months old male Pomeranian Here is how you should really choose your partner. Over the weekend, I had a conversation with a friend over lunch. We updated each other on how things were going in our lives and the people that we came across.
Then we continued to talk about how dating in New York City can be pretty tough. We exchanged our ideas on what our ideal relationship would be like? She started mentioned about lifestyles and habits. Then we started talking about the big picture items such as: She asked me what I want from my partner. I said pretty simple, only three things: It is pretty simple. I believe that I need all of these in my partner. And yet I am pretty certain that it's hard to find someone who can be "consistently" like that.
I think they go hand in hand. I don't think one can exist without the others. Honesty means really being honest with yourself. Honestly making a living. Honestly understanding who you are. I have rarely met people who are really honest with themselves.
A lot of time people are doing things that other people want. In order to know what you truly want you have to ask yourself a few questions: Loyalty, first means being loyal to yourself. Loyal to yourself means standing by your beliefs. Loyal to your feelings. Loyal to your callings in life.
So the first requirement is really asking my partner to be really honest to herself in learning who she is and then loyally following her true callings in life. Then it's about being loyal to your partner. It means that no matter thick or thin you are willing to stand by him. Remember the marriage vow? I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
Sounds pretty simple, but it is something really rare to see. To me, being positive doesn't mean someone who always sees life on the bright side. Being positive requires someone to have faith in believing other than himself. It's about having faith and really believing that there is something greater than ourselves that we cannot see. It is the faith that things will always get better even when the situation looks extremely bleak. It also means someone who has a long term view in life.
Okay what I want right now cannot be done right now, but what can I really do at this point to bring me that much closer to my goal? It is to see the opportunities in every difficulty. It is the ability to recognize the biggest challenges in life are just opportunities for you to excel. I haven't met many people who can do that. That brings me to the next item on the list: I think after having all the qualities I have mentioned above, you don't have this one, it's all a waste. I have never really seen someone who gets things done right on the first try.
We are just not born that way. A lot of things that are worth achieving really require dedication i. It requires a lot of time working day in and day out.
These things never really pay dividends in the short term. You really need to invest a lot of your time and energy to benefit in the long run.
Are you really the kind of person who can give up short term benefits in order to do well in the long run? Would you get easily depressed because things are not going well for you? Even if everyone in the room disagree with you and tell you that you are just wasting your time, will you be able to brush off their comments and keep moving?